Top Lady Tips For Summer!

Summer is fast approaching so here’s your top tips for looking great this year!

1.) Get a fake tan – first, take lot of time exfoliating  preferably with really expensive products – I like Chanels exfoliater – because us women have lots of spare cash to spend on such things, then pay $60 for someone to get up close and personal with your vagina, ruin your sheets when you go home to sleep and wake up smelling great!

Top tips for after tan care – some top tips from Elle Magazine to make your tan last –

“Avoid sweating” (yep, don’t do any exercise just sit there looking gorgeous!)

“Avoid chlorine or excessive water” don’t want ruin your fab bikini tan by doing something silly like actually swimming in that pool!


2.) Get your hair straightened and get highlights! It only takes around 6 hours in the Salon so why not!

Top tips to keep your straight hair straight from stylists who get paid nearly as much as doctors but can often barely string a sentence together!

“Stay out of the water”! You can’t get ANY moisture near your hair for three days – so even though you’re on a beach holiday don’t be tempted to actually go into the water! Also when sleeping be careful not to drool on your hair – try to sleep in 30 minute intervals.

“Stay out of the sun!” “take an umbrella” advises one stylist – yes, you’ve already got your spray tan anyways so just sit underneath the small umbrella you bought with you on vacation and enjoy  the beach by watching men swim and do watersports.

3.) Enjoy your vacation!

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This entry was posted on August 16, 2016 by in ENTERTAINMENT, OPINION, Uncategorized and tagged , , .
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